Oh hi there controversy, glad you made it here safe!

Now typically I find February to be the dullest month of the year but not so this year as controversy has come a callin' to shake things up a little. Oh goody!


Firstly there was the Budget 2011 announcement - the first from Premier Cox. Some interesting decisions. Having lived here for nearly two years now, I would say that Bermuda's biggest challenges would appear to be dramatically rising gun crime and the education system. So how does the budget aim to do battle against these foes? Hmmm, let's cut the police budget by $7.5 million and the education pot by $15 million. Makes perfect sense. 


I don't need to wax lyrical about da guns and da bladed articles as I've done that enough in previous posts, not sure I've covered education though. It has been widely debated the the education system in it's current state is not training Bermudians up with the skills called for by the local economy hence all us darn expats running around the place. This wouldn't be a major issue if it wasn't for the strict work permit regulations leading to a regular turnover of overseas workers every two or three years, which has implications from a cultural and heritage perspective. You have a high percentage of the population unable to really ever put down roots and limited to how much they want to help build and contribute to a community, when it is only ever going to be a temporary home. 


Sports and charities also had their budgets cut. Even the national sport of cricket took a hit with a 50% budget cut and cricket is BIG here. That's just not cricket hey! And there may be more charities here per capita then anywhere else in the world so the funding has to be spread pretty thin as it is but significant causes suffered severe cuts, including the Government youth mentoring programme, Mirrors, which has always been sold as a huge success story. Maybe they feel it's a case of job done! A little early for that methinks.


Then over my time here, tourism has been sold as the way to save the day for the economy. Budget cut here too - a $7.9 million chop.


There was however a few welcome moves, payroll tax cut was by 2% so I get a little more pocket money each month again and no sin taxes on cigarettes and alcohol so my Dark N Stormies cost the same. Yipee. Weird move though. I know in the UK the booze and cigs are always the first to get the tax hikes but maybe they figure with the general mood getting gradually more morose, that may just tip a few people over the edge. 


Then there were two controversial visitors making their way through Arrivals at Bermuda International Airport this week...


The first was British MP Andrew Rosindell, chairman of the British Overseas Territories All Party Parliamentary Group. 

He was as disappointed as I was to see that the Union Jack no longer flies on Front Street. Rosindell's visit would have come as a blow to anyone that supports the independence agenda. He advised the Bermuda Sun that a “total change in attitude to Overseas Territories” had occurred since his coalition government succeeded Labour in the UK. The territories are “places we cherish and value,” he said, and are “no longer remnants of a colonial past we don’t want to bother with” he told reporter, Amanda Dale. He did seem however to want to make friends here, he spoke highly of Bermuda as a ‘model’ Overseas Territory, saying it “doesn’t rely on handouts." Well no one like a free loader do they now!


Then the other visitor arriving in a cloud of controversy was a white tiger. This beauty has come to Bermuda to perform with Las Vegas illusionist, Rick Thomas, in a magic show. 

Obviously this has had animal welfare charities and activists up in arms but then it's raising money for charities. Which as we've just heard, really need all the help they can get right now. Also, the organisers have a pretty strong education argument. Given that the only wildlife Bermuda's children will see here is the odd Ferrel cat, maybe a rat and a ton of frogs and toads, then the show does present a rare opportunity for them to see something a little more interesting. And the tiger does get to stay at the lovely The Fairmont Southampton hotel, which I can only afford to do when the occasional $99 deal comes up! So the jury is out for me on this one really...

Bermuda Short Films

Good blogging weather today... gale force winds, with the odd hurricane force gust thrown in, and freezing here in paradise. It's made for some pretty dramatic scenes. Although as I've been mainly hiding away inside all day, I can't claim to have seen this first hand but Bernews.com keeps me reliably informed with some photos and short film action. And with that seamless link I move onto the subject of today's post. Films.

I recently started volunteering for the mighty Bermuda International Film Festival in a PR capacity. The festival takes place in March (18-24 for those of you taking notes!) and shows a range of indie films from all over the world. It even counts as a qualifying festival for the Short Film Oscar, so if your film is screened at BIFF, it can be shortlisted for film industry's undoubtedly greatest gong. Pretty cool huh! And the category is fitting too... Bermuda... Short... Films. Geddit!!! I've taken BIFF onto Twitter (@BERMUDAFILMFEST) and we are slowly but surely making connections with other films festivals all over the world. Now I'm fairly new to this whole gig but hadn't quite realised how many film fests there are across the globe. Sure we've all heard on Sundance, Cannes, Raindance but have the Land Locked Film Festival in Iowa, Anchorage Film Festival in Alaska, WOW (Wales One World) Film Festival or even the Killruddery Film Festival in Wicklow, Ireland, ever crossed you're radar?! Probably not. But yep they're out there!

As well as playing host to the globe's rising stars of the silver screen, Bermuda is also part of the programme this year as local living legend, Johnny Barnes, who each morning greets thousands at the side of a roundabout, is the star of "Mr Happy Man." View the trailer here.

And away from the film festival, there is homegrown talent aplenty within these 21 square miles. We've got the directors, cameramen, film stars, musical directors etc etc. just waiting for their big break. So thought I'd help with a bit of promotion as I am just that selfless. 

So firstly we have all involved in this masterpiece of an ad from BELCO, the local energy company. Just wow! 

And if that wasn't enough X-Factor viewing for you all for one day, feast your eyes of this festival of film magic from the Bermuda Post Office. Yikes!




So if you're looking for the perfect excuse to hop on a plane to Bermuda then the film festival should be it!!

To civilization and back again...

So it's been nearly two months since my last post. Firstly I must apologise profusely to my thousands of devoted fans, who have no doubt been left depressed and destitute, suspended in a life without meaning, but I am back and I brownie-guide promise to be a better blogger from now on.

So what's been happening, where have I been? Well, first there was my second nothing-short-of spectacular Christmas on the island with family. Almost put off by all the bubbles on the beach and crimbo sunshine last year, surprisingly Mum, Dad and brother Benny were back for more. It is written in the unwritten Bermuda expat bible of life that thou shalt spend Christmas morning on Elbow Beach in a Santa hat with Champagne cocktail in hand. Oh shucks, must I?

Apart from that, the age old format remained the same. Ate too much everyday, drank too much everyday. Balanced out (or imbalanced out as the case may be) by a few faaamily walks.

January brought my 30th birthday and my first trip home to the U.K. in 15 months. Never did I think I would describe London Gatwick as a culture shock but that is exactly what it was. I haven't been completely marooned on the rock all that time, I've been to the U.S. a number of times, but still I hadn't seen my homeland for so long that it was almost foreign. A lot has changed in that that time, there's a whole new Government and the recession has truly bitten for starters.

Also a shock to the system, the weather. It is fair to say that I am now fully acclimatised to my Bermuda climes. Yes, 14 degrees celsius is cold, it's not proper rain unless it's 'tank rain' and wind is measured by the degree to which you feel you could be blown off your scooter. So you can imagine my dismay to find myself in 4 degrees. Brrrrrrrr. I anticipated I would feel the cold, I did not however anticipate not being able to feel my face due to the fact that it was pretty much frozen. Who needs botex eh?

Second biggest challenge to this now simple island dweller was major information overload, I feel like Johnny 5 trying to fathom out this whole new world of input. Finding baggage reclaim alone was an enigma.There were signs telling me which platform I needed to get the train into Central London, signs telling me which lift I need to get to said platform, not to mention train times, temporary tube maps with engineering works updates etc etc.

Now to the average Londoner this is no big deal but when you're used to virtually no information in day to day life then it's somewhat of challenge. For example, to get a bus into town stand by a pink pole or to get out of town stand by a blue one. Simples. Then there's the roads, really just a case of North Shore, Middle or South Road. The only slight causes for confusion are why you need to choose between a Zone 3 or 14 bus ticket and why there are so many Tribe Roads, there are even A and B variants of this popular road name. Small mysteries in comparison to the crystal maze experience that was getting out of Gatwick. Luckily it was an 'automatic lock-in' timed challenge or else I'd still be there. If the security has been upped as much as rumours suggest then there is probably a man somewhere studying unusual behavioural patterns on some CCTV in the deepest, darkest corner of the airport. After my visit, he is probably still there a week later, scratching his head, and trying to work out why someone would get off the Bermuda flight and continue to walk round in continuous circles, chasing one's proverbial tail.

By the time I reached the bustling Zone 1 of London town and plonked myself into the sanctuary of a black cab, leaving the cockney at the wheel in charge of navigation, I felt a little more at ease but still somewhat of a tourist. I felt myself gasp as we sped by Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, Trafalgar Square, the London Eye, Tower Bridge. Oh oh oh, it was almost too much, for this legal alien! These are the things that become frightfully commonplace when you pass them on a daily basis, but when you are starved of such sightseeing marvels, they give you that lust for London life once more.

Unable to check into my hotel for a few hours I made the mistake of trying to tackle the pavement traffic on London Bridge at rush hour, head-on. I had in mind that I would go for a nice peaceful stroll along the south bank, forgetting about the minor issue of making it alive across the Thames first. Never have I felt more like pavement roadkill as I fell foul to around the quarter of the population of Bermuda on that one bridge at 8.50am. It's enough to turn this fish out of water into a quivering wreck. And people walk so fast and with such purpose. There is no beeping just to say "hey girlfriend/aceboy", pulling over for a quick catch up with a pedestrian or random passers-by telling you look "cute" or that your outfit is "fierce."

Other than that when it came to interaction once more with my people, natural order was restored. Yes there was facial hair on some faces where once there none but the same people were late, stressed, drunk or inappropriate as before. And the same people were this classic cocktail rolled into one.

One of the first new additions to London life I noticed was Mayor Boris's bikes. What a bloody good idea, although I've been sheltered from the political backlash that no doubt surrounds them. But it looked pretty straight forward, they're everywhere, you pay an access fee, hop on and hop off where you like and you travel in the good 'ol British styling of the Barclays brand.

One thing I had conveniently forgotton was how long it takes to get around the big smoke and the old rule of thumb to allow 40 minutes for any journey regardless of distance. Following a dose of speed shopping on Oxford Street, I foolishly had thoughts of popping two stops up the Victoria Line in ten minutes to meet my friends for drinks. Forgetting about the daily dramas of station closures due to overcrowding, engineering works and other infuriating obstacles in getting from A to Zed.

I later discovered on the News at Ten the reason for travel delays (as so often was the case when I was a Londoner - you never really know what's going on as you bumble along and just wait to be told later by the all-seeing beeb). In this case, tax cut protesters had been sprayed by Police with CS gas. A sign of the times if ever there was one. Perhaps civilization ain't so civilized after all.

I must admit it was kinda nice to get back to the island and a sense of calm was restored as we cruised into land just as the sun set.

Then as if the euphoria of being back in paradise wasn't enough, I got to walk into Arrivals on the airport carpet now enjoying viral fame following a CNN article. To find out what the fuss is all about, see The Royal Gazette report here or just come visit. It's a real beauty, the carpet and the island.

Tis the season to be jolly and carry on sunbathing!

Somehow December is here and the sun is still shining in BDA. It's not really feeling that christmassy yet in paradise despite the Christmas tree on Front Street being up in all it's glory and the Corporation of Hamilton battling to get the lights up and working despite some 'broken circuit' issues. Meanwhile the BA flight back to blighty is going nowhere as the white fluffly stuff lies deep and crisp and even. I couldn't feel more detached from the norms of my home country. This has been made even clearer as I having sat watching the story of the royal engagement  told by Americans. If Kate Middleton is from a "typical English working-class" then I'm was raised in a trash can. Jeez!

There is a hefty price tag, as with everything in Bermuda, on the festive season. A tin of Quality Street will set you back over $30 so it was top of the wish list for the olds to bring over. Apart from the distinctly warmer clime, crimbo is pretty much the same deal. Shopping hell to find the perfect party dress to the softening sounds of a Salvation Army band, some burning of the proverbial advent calendar at both ends and enough food to truly feed...the... wor..ld. Yes we do know it's Christ-mas time!


Things are fairly quiet on the news front but I guess that is what comes from having a Premier who doesn't create all the drama, drama, drama. I went to the birthday party of her royal highness, the Fairmont Hamilton Princess hotel at the weekend and Premier Paula Cox was there to add a sense of glamourous occasion to the proceedings. She spoke on the importance of that ol' byword of late... sustainability. But it is sooo true. When you think about the pink palace still sitting pretty in the top end of travel market despite the economic tsunami of late then Princess really does deserve a silver spoon lashing of praise.  She is celebrating her 125th Christmas in style with a large-scale gingerbread house nestled under the Christmas tree in the lobby.


But in the weeks before Christmas not everything is quiet as a mouse, a political pin drop threatens to stir the house (of assembly) from its festive slumber. So by now, most people are familiar with "Cablegate", the U.S. diplomatic cable leak on website WikiLeaks. Well 68 of the over 250,000 to be release reference this little island. The first of which was out today, revealed that Bermuda received a minimal cash payment for accepting the four ex-Guantanamo detainees last year. Who knows the truths the other 67 will expose but rest assured the dust of Premier Ewart Brown's legacy is yet to settle. There may be controversy ahead, watch this space/dot in the ocean...

A melting pot with no glass lid

For one week each year Bermuda plays host to rugby players from around the globe. Teams from England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, France, Argentina, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Canada, the United States, Spain, Portugal and Uruguay - they've all made the pilgrimage to this little dot in the Atlantic for the World Rugby Classic. And what a week it is! 

With winter on it's way, the temperature dropping, the nights drawing in, what better way to pass the time than by wrapping up to watch battle commence between global arch rivals. Last night's USA vs. Canada pairing made for an interesting match. With both sides equally well supported by expats in the bleechers. When it got to the Classic Lions (England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales) against the South Africans, I felt that the Lions were a little under-supported. Considering Bermuda is an English overseas territory, it's funny that the saffas outnumber the Brits. And not just in number but also in spirit. They even had a random saxophonist up in the stands, whilst the Brits maintained just the usual stiff upper lip while we suffered a familiar defeat on the sporting field. All was forgotten ten minutes later as we all got down until the wee small hours to the sounds of the sixties under canvas lubricated by just a drop of Black Seal Rum.

Meanwhile away from the Rugby field, we had a change of leadership since I last wrote... meet Premier Paula Cox!

Short in height but tall in stature and with faabulous dress sense, she is already making her mark having reshuffled and renamed most of the ministeries under her. And she talks a lot of sense, which of course helps if you're running a country, albeit a small one. Premier Cox was former part-time Minister of Finance under her predecessor, Premier Ewart Brown, whilst holding down a high-powered lawyer job at insurance giant, ACE. So she is busting through that glass ceiling in more ways than one! 


Sisters are doing it for themselves all over the island it seems.The latest Government statistics revealed that women are earning on average 1.4 percent more than men. Woohooo, let's here it for the girls!! Sadly, this has to be one of the few places in the world where that's the case.

Freedom isn't free

As the world looked on and cheered as 33 Chilean miners were freed after more than two months trapped down a gold and copper shaft this week, Bermuda's very own virtual captives were brought to the forefront once more. Yes, the island's four resident Chinese Uyghers, and one-time international celebrities, were once again in the spotlight albeit at a more localised level this time.


The quartet made international headlines last year when the Premier Ewart Brown did a deal to accept the former Guantanamo Bay detainees onto Bermudian soil. All had gone quiet on this story for a while, that was until it was revealed on Monday that they were made redundant from their positions at Port Royal Golf Course but were found work in the private sector within days of the story breaking. 

This was met with anger from community, as an estimated 1,600 remain unemployed as a result of the economic downturn. This is a truly tragic story though, I fail to see how anyone can claim to feel hard done by the situation of the Uyghurs. The men were held for seven years in Guantanamo Bay WITHOUT CHARGE. They had fled their home country to Afghanistan through fear of political persecution, when they were captured by Pakistani bounty hunters following a U.S. assault on an Al Quaeda mountain stronghold.


They were accepted through the gates of paradise but it's no fairytale ending. Due to the political complexities of the case, they Uyghurs cannot leave this 24-mile island as they haven't been granted national status by the U.K. Government. Paradise must seen less like a good thing when you are not free to leave of your own accord. 


When the Premier gave them refuge, he called it a "humanitarian" act but now that his term is ending, what happens now as the Uyghurs are reliant on the Government for work and the "humanitarian" act appeared to be a very personal one as the U.K. government were not informed?! 


Meanwhile in other tales of captivity, this week the Premier imparted part of the blame for the cost of constructing a pier to receive ginormous cruise ships on the western tip of the island, Royal Naval Dockyards, skyrocketing from an estimated $35 million to $60 million, on some knocked up dolphins. I kid you not. In a open forum media roundtable to mark the end of the Premier's tenure, he said they should have been sent back to Chicago as the pregnant dolphins cost an extra $3.7 million to protect. Only in Bermuda!!

Oktoberfest in Bermuda

And so we find ourselves in October... how did that happen?! I think my subconscious has been trying to keep me thinking it was still August, but having attended Bermuda's answer to the autumnal German beer festival, Oktoberfest, on Saturday, it was a fact that could escape me no more.


So how did Oktoberfest in Snorkel Park compare to the real thing? Well, as I've never experienced the authentic Bavarian deal, I can only imagine. But yes, there was plenty of Heineken (the bartender wouldn't accept that this isn't a German beer!), a few bratwursts, some sauerkraut and drinking games involving hammers and logs, however the event was set against the Atlantic horizon, so there was also beach volleyball, pedalos, palm trees and a few gallons of rum. The end result was a little more Club Tropicana than Bar Munich but hey Fun and Sunshine... there was enough for everyone!

So on a wider level, what is October in Bermuda like? Well, contrary to popular belief, Bermuda is not an all-year-round tropical destination so it means the end of summer :""""-( The evenings are drawing in, my after-work ocean swims came to an end a few weeks ago and my cardigan collection is getting an airing again. Although it never really drops below 60 degrees, it feels MUCH colder because of the constant humidity and there's no central heating in these parts.


It also means the start of running race season. Despite the island's high obesity rate, Bermuda has a incredibly active and popular road race calendar. Last weekend was the annual PartnerRe Women's 5K, one of the biggest races, with somewhere near 1,000 competitors this year across the day's events. I took part again this year and learnt that Autumn was not quite upon us. It was 78 degrees. This means you not only sweat buckets but the sweat is not evaporated because of the still very high humidity = face like a bubbling cauldron. It's a challenge. I'm hoping that my acclimatisation to these conditions will turn my tortoise pace into a hare's when I return to UK shores. Next in my sights is the Bacardi 8k (interesting sponsorship choice that one but then again maybe a quick pre-race Dark 'N' Stormy would act as rocket fuel for my performance!).


On a much more tragic note, October so far has also seen two fatal motorbike accidents in just 11 days and the tenth road fatality this year. Both 31 year-old, Earlston Kavon Bailey Smith, and 22 year old, Adam Goodwin died in the early hours of the morning. Back in July, the Road Safety Council called for more sophisticated data collection and analysis after traffic accidents. I'd be interested to know how seriously this point was taken. We are told there have been reductions in traffic accidents in recent months and I'm sure the recent ban of cell phone usage while driving will help but there is no escaping the fact that only last year, Bermuda's road death rate was the second highest in the Hemisphere, dwarfing every other Caribbean island. And that's with, what has to be, one of the lowest national speed limits in the world at 35 KPH. Something doesn't quite add up...