Show me the money!

Bermuda had a reason to be out and out, loud and proud about its dollars this week, or to be more precise its $2 bill. The $2 scooped... wait for it...  'Banknote of the Year Award by the International Banknote Society' over NINE other competitors. I've got to admit though it's real pretty!

According to www.banknotenews.com (yes really!), the judges said: "The combination of colours were appealing and blended well throughout all components of the design. Additionally, the range of items depicted on the note were attractively presented and allowed the eye to linger and to search for natural and historical design elements which were not immediately apparent." 

The award-winning note portrays the Bermuda Bluebird on the front and the Dockyard Clock Tower and Statue of Neptune on the back, along with HRH Queen Lizzy so it retains that air of Britishness.

Bermuda hasn't always been so public about it's money, not until recently anyway, when Obama's crackdown on tax havens forced it to be open and honest. So it's no more secret squirrels! 

When talking about the Cayman Islands and a building was found to have over 12,000 business headquarters listed there, Obama delivered a superb quote: "[this is] either the largest building in the world or the largest tax scam in the world"!! The situation here is not so far off. The Bermuda Registrar of Companies reports that at the end of March 2010 there were 13,500 businesses registered here. That's over 600 to each of Bermuda's 21 square miles. I know this is one of the top ten most densely spaces on earth but even so this is a little high, but it can been explained by all those sneaky international firms domiciling here on paper to save some tax cents.

Over the past year I've been here, the Government has been busily signed Tax Information Exchange Treaties (TIEAs) with various countries around the world. Which seem to be "I'll scratch your back, if you scratch mine" agreements to share secrets. Bermuda now has 21 signed after the U.S. Government set a minimum requirement for offshore jurisdictions in order to stay friends. Apparently this means we're doing quite well on the grand scheme of things compared to uber secretive tax havens such as Delaware, Switzerland and Luxembourg.

This has not however stopped some companies getting scared off Bermuda's shores. Over the last year some big names like Accenture, Tyco and Flagstone Re, Willis have left. 

Whatever happens though, as my Mummy and Daddy always said "honesty is the best policy"... so that must be right.

Holding out for a hero(es') day!

Today on the island is a public holiday and we celebrate Heroes' Day. Or more accurately Hero's Day. No this isn't some kind of grammar debate, at this time there is only one hero - Lois Browne Evans. So who was this sole Bermudian hero who we recognise today? 

She was a legal and political Bermudian figure doing her bit for girl power and racial equal rights - as the first female barrister and Attorney-General, the first back female MP and the first women to become leader of the opposition (the Progressive Labour Party which is now in power) British Commonwealth. She received a knighthood from the Queen but was pro the independence of Bermuda. She died in 2007 aged 79.

This public holiday is only three years old. It was created in 2008 and originally planned to replaced the Bermuda Day holiday on May 24 but following public outrage (What! No lining to the streets eating fried chicken to watch the half marathon?!) it was later agreed that it would replace the Queen's Official Birthday holiday still celebrated in the UK as the spring bank holiday at the end of May. This would seem quite fitting in honour of a campaigner for Bermuda leaving British rule. 

Since the holiday was created with the assumption that different heroes would be celebrated each year, debate has raged on about who they should be. Adrian Robson put the case forward for various sports heroes in The Royal Gazette, there has been talk of a public vote, then earlier this month (although not in time for Heroes' Day 2010) the Government announced a panel to decide upon some other national heroes to honour but since debate is now raging over who should be on the panel I think it's quite likely that Dame Lois will be the name in the frame for Heroes' Day 2011. 

Unlike other national holidays the annual activity for today is yet to be determined. So how did us expats celebrate? Well it's been a busy weekend of raft ups, beach parties, camp fires and sunbathing. I'm always a fan of a public holiday even if this one is a little undefined!!

Doing a 'Houdini'

The last few days have been full of great disappearing acts in Bermuda. First there's the island itself... a bit worrying. Climate change was the subject of Friday's debate in the House of Assembly. MPs mulled over the contents of a new research report, which claims that without a reduction in global reduction in greenhouse gas, the island's high water mark would go up seven feet. When you're an ickle island, that's heavy news putting 14 per cent of the island and 2,000 buildings at threat. 

When news broke last November that the Premier was attending the UN Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen at a cost of over $100,000, I agreed with the widespread criticism. After all, being a tiny island it is fair to say that Bermuda's contribution to the global issue of climate change is pretty non-existent BUT that said, Bermuda has a lot to learn from a global forum like this. Whilst any small island could never demand a seat at the table along side the superpowers, they can learn a lot from listening and if you put all the islands worldwide together then there's becomes a valuable contribution. 


Bermuda is not the greenest of island homes, I think part of it comes from thinking, oh well what difference do all the little bad habits make when you are out here in the middle of the ocean and there's only 67,000 of us. Unless its residents take better care of the island, then maybe there will be nothing to worry about. When you have such a small land mass and you live on the eighth most densely populated place in the world, you realise how all the little thing build up.


There is very little recycling here from what I can see, the island is almost entirely reliant on fossil fuel and we have higher than average waste creation per capita than other OECD countries. All in all, a bit of a mess. 


One contributor to Friday's debate, had more than one disappearing act to worry about. Environment Minister, Glenn Blakeney, was also concerned with his lost and found son. Jahmel was arrested in New York last week in connection with the attempted murders of two cinema-goers shot as they left a film showing in November 2009. He was arrested at the time but broke his bail and left the island. I'm not sure how that's even possible. There is only one airport here and you'd think that immigration staff would have access to a wanted list... hmmm yeah I repeat you'd think. Also curious about this situation is the fact that the Minister openly talks of being in contact with his son since he left the island in Bermuda Sun. Hang on a minute, a Minister in touch with a fugitive of the law?! Accessory anyone. 


Then there's the two members of Bermudians Against the Draft (BAD) who went AWOL and failed to attend an exemption-from-service tribunal, while a third turned up but failed to get out of military service. BAD has been engaged in legal action since late 2006 to abolish military conscription in Bermuda. Their bid to get the law changed has been defeated in the Supreme Court, Court of Appeal and the Privy Council, which is the Island's highest Court of Appeal. As mentioned in my previous post, Bermuda is the only British Overseas Territory to have compulsory service.


So if you thought there was no where to hide on an island this small, you'd be wrong!

High risk, high reward?

"Deepwater Horizon" sounds a little bit like an idyllic holiday resort but in actual fact it is widely billed as the worst oil spill in U.S. history. In the last few days, following predictions of the cross-Atlantic course the slick is likely to take from the Gulf of Mexico, experts have been trying to forecast the potential damage to Bermuda. 


According to this YouTube clip, we seem to be sitting right in the middle of its path. Although the latest news from those in the know is that the impact here is likely to be seen in the form of tar balls washing up on these shores sometime around September. Not particularly desirable but at the same time no apocalyptic destruction of the beautiful beaches. Something to be grateful for. 





As well as lying in the pathway, Bermuda has another connection to this major international news story - the world of insurance. The disaster has called into question the ethics of the multi-billion captive insurance industry. Now here's the complicated bit... concentrate! 


What is captive insurance? 
In very basic terms it's where a massive company like BP carries such a high risk factor and owns such much property that it could never afford the premiums for a typical insurance policy to protect its assets. So it insures itself, creating a captive, a subsidary to act as (very large) piggy bank to cough up in the event of an issue larger than any tissue could resolve.


Why is it shady?
Well captive insurance in reality seems to mean that you aren't really insured, just on paper. Captives are usually based offshore where the profits they makes are tax free and the premiums are tax deductible to really fatten up that piggy bank for a rainy day. I suppose the question really is, if you are insuring yourself then are you gonna make things easier for yourself than if a entirely independent underwriter was in charge. Probably. And what does that mean for safety regulations, do the little things slip the net and eventually turn into a 150-mile oil slicks?!


What is the Bermuda connection?
There are more captive insurance companies listed here than anywhere in the world, somewhere in the region of a 1,000 at last count. That means there is a hell of a lotta money on this 24 miles of land making Bermuda's GDP per capita one of the highest in the world (Although BP's captive, Jupiter, is based in Guersney rather than here).


So what's my point?
KARMA


To put this in simple terms... the left hand is feeding Bermuda while the right hand is robbing it blind. It's not so easy to be both beautiful AND rich after all.

Rule Britannia!!

The good ol' humidity has been back this week in all it's glory, it was somewhere around 90% which is pretty standard in the summer. It's gross. It is one of the hardest things to get use to when you first get here, if you're not from South East Asia or South America that is. Lots of tips on how to deal circulate the community. It's a funny thing to get used to, having to stir your drawers. Yep every couple of days you have to move things around or end up with a mouldy wardrobe. Being a girl, I have a lot of handbags and shoes and they require the same treatment. It's a little tiresome but I learnt the hard way when I hadn't moved three bags hanging on the back of my door for a while and one grew mildew. Grim. 


In the height of summer, you also get used to never really being dry after a shower and OMG don't even get me started on the hair. Frizzy, frizzy, frizzy! You certainly come to realise why corn rows took off but I haven't succumbed... yet. 


As the humidity count went up this week, so it seemed did a general feeling of tension. I'm sure it's related. Being hot under the collar does get you stressed out. Not me however, I've been cool as a cucumber sandwich all week. Apart from my face which is suffering from post-trauma-free sunbathing syndrome. But everyone else seems overwrought, particularly in the political arena. 


The Premier Dr. Ewart Brown was on his independence agenda last night. This week, Bermuda played host to a meeting of the Overseas Territories Caribbean Heads of Government. Welcome to the Cayman Islands, the British Virgin Islands, Anguilla and Montserrat. At a formal dinner last night, the Premier toasted: “to the people of the overseas territories – not to be known forever as territories.” If you're interested his full speech is available on good ol' Bernews. His sentiment was echoed by fellow MP, Terry Lister, who said: "Colonialism is a hold over from a previous century which really has no place in today’s world.” I think there is some truth in this, although I wonder realistically whether little Bermuda and its even smaller fellow British overseas territories could really go it alone in the big bad world. But then this is more of a hunch that a well-informed argument. 


At face value, as I've said before, Bermuda doesn't feel particularly English. Apart from the union jack in the corner of the Bermuda flag, red letter boxes, driving on the left and the popularity of afternoon tea, you'd actually struggle to tell it was a British owned island. There aren't even that many British expats here, we're are heavily outnumbered by Americans, Canadians and South Africans. Bermuda is no banana republic though, it is surprisingly sophisticated for an island of it's size. It has is own stock exchange, quangos, a Chamber of Commerce and multi-million dollar home-grown companies.


Then on some levels it is in the dark ages, the Yellow Pages is still a well-thumbed institution here, national TV is sketchy to say the least, racial tensions run high and homophobia is rife. However, giant leaps happened in this area this week when a gay cruise was welcomed on the island, a similar visit was cancelled as little as three years ago amid religious protest. 


I haven't really got a sense of how strong the pro-independence cause is, I would hazard a guess that's it's fairly split between for and against amongst the general public. A visit from the Queen was very well-received in November 2009, with the streets lined with thousands of Bermudians. However, the message from the top was a bit more luke warm as she was put up in a hotel rather than offered a bed in the Premier's official residence.

The Premier's independence stance has got him into trouble with the British establishment. Never more so than last year when he sanctioned the landing of four ex-Guantanamo detainees. Apparently a decision that was not his to make but no doubt put Bermuda in Obama's good books, which isn't a bad place to be!

Batten down the hatches!!

On the stroke of midnight tonight my scooter will turn into an Aston Martin and those hundreds of pesky tree frogs that keep me awake at night will turn into a line-up of hotties at my door, or maybe not, wrong story! No, at the stroke of night Bermuda moves into.... drum roll... hurricane season. Gasp! and the sense of impending danger lasts right until the end of November.


Being a tiny of island in the middle of the Atlantic the chance of a storm striking a bull's eye on us are relatively small BUT they do. Research conducted by the Bermuda Weather Service suggests the island should anticipate a devastating storm every six to seven years. EEEEEKKKK!!! The last hurricane to hit Bermuda was Fabian in September 2003, oh gawd that's seven years.

However after a warm-up 2009 season, I'm ready to play ball, although maybe not three strikes, that would be really unlucky. The closest we came last year was Hurricane Bill which passed within 200 miles of the island overnight on 21st August. It was still pretty scary but by the time it reached us it had been downgraded to a category two storm. For us ladies of the house, it wasn't such a hardship.  Once we had secured the house, we settled down with a case of wine and a pile of dvds and of course chocolate as if the worst happen we'll need that to keep up the blood sugar levels right?!


The day after definitely had a eeriness about it, the winds had eased by the waves were still crashing the shoreline all day, branches were strewn everywhere and scooters lay on their sides all over the road. Some crazy cats even took advantage of the extreme weather conditions for spot of kite surfing. Why not? Rather them than me...





Each year during storm season, from the supermarkets, insurance companies, the Government, landlords, you name it, there's hurricane preparedness tips cycloning the island. Being a gal from England, getting ready for a hurricane was not the norm so much of this advice was completely new to me. Some of it seemed fairly straight forward like stocking on on tinned food, bottled water, torches etc. etc., others you might not think of like stocking up on cash in case ATMs are inoperable and having a full tank of petrol in case you need to drive to safety once the storm is over. But then some were pitched completely out of left field like opening the windows on the leeward side of the house (opposite side to the approach of the storm) to stop air pressure building up in your house and causing an explosion. This one seems to have far too much room for backfiring, pardon the pun. For starters from my brief run in with Billy Boy, I know that it sounds like the storm is coming from all around! 


The most recent forecast from the reputable Colorado Stare University predicts an above-average eight hurricanes, four of them major, for the Atlantic this year. So to coin a common phrase in these parts its all about preparing for the worst and hoping for the best and during the approach cross everything, finger, toes and windows with tape. 

Summer starts here...

Bermudian summer officially started on Monday, Bermuda Day. From May 24, it is acceptable to locals to enter the sea. Although us expats from colder climes have been splish splashing in the surf for weeks. You never would have guessed it was summer though if you didn't know, it's got off to a slow start. I think London was actually hotter on Monday and Tuesday... refund!!! 


It has rained day and night all week which might be down to the Bermudians doing a rain dance. They have been praying for 'tank rain' for weeks. Now let me explain this foreign concept. As Bermuda is over 700 miles from mainland, we have to rely on rain for our water supply otherwise that would be a very long water pipe. The rain is collected on roofs and stored in tanks, because of this Bermudian houses have uniquely styled roofs which are painted white and bleached. Making for some interesting entry and exit strategies to buildings during the bleaching process to avoid those fatal pink spots and some unwanted highlights in your hair.

So how does the lesser spotted 'tank rain' differ from common or garden rain. Well it takes a native eye to spot the difference and technically speaking it is rain that is heavy enough to create a reserve in your tank and rain that fall straight down (as opposed to at a slight angle) in order to collect on roofs. Got it?, good! Rain lesson over. 


May 24 is also an important date in the Bermudian fashion calendar, from this day forth each year, it is time to whip out those BERMUDA SHORTS!!!! from the back of the wardrobe for the summer season. So how does one wear the famous Bermuda shorts exactly?! 


Well contrary to popular belief, Bermuda shorts are not the crazy patterned, acid coloured ones, those bad boys are Hawaiian. No, the Bermuda Shorts are a far more sophisticated fashion statement. Let's take these fine fellows as a case in point...

You will see from the above that they are also a flexible choice, suitable for weekend wear, a game of golf, a day at the office, an appointment with the bank manager... whatever you do, you can do so safe in the knowledge that you are looooooking goooood fella. 


And for the finer points, here are some top tips:


1. Show off those knobbly knees with pride, your shorts should be three inches above them.
2. Don't carry bananas in your pockets, or any other bulky items, as this effects the line of the short.
3. Shorts are better bright teamed up with a more classic black or navy blazer and a plain shirt.
4. For business, wear long socks with your shorts and smart shoes (loafers with tassles are fashion forward in these parts), no sandals/sock fashion faux pas allowed!
5. If you want to really look like you know what you are doing, go pink 
6. Don't let age be a barrier, I've met 60-somethings in shorts and they wear them well. It's all about confidence.
7. If you are wearing socks, you should also wear a tie. Visit the English Sports Shop on Front Street for a tie with a Bermuda theme - tree frogs, scooters, pink buses, kites are all pretty damn cool as a motif.
8. Play close attention to tightness, no one like to see a VPL (visible pant line)
9. They shouldn't be too loose either as a 'basic instinct' is also undesirable.
10. Equal right apply - girls can do Bermuda Shorts too and there are less rules so make it your own ladies.