Long tails & Bermuda shorts: EAT, PRAY, LOVE

I went to see the eagerly anticipated (by the female contingent of the world anyway) EAT, PRAY, LOVE this evening. For the less informed guys, it's the latest Julia Roberts film based on the New York Times bestselling book of the same name. Based on a true story, it's about Elizabeth Gilbert, an unhappily married woman in her early 30s who decides her life isn't what she wants it to be and checks out for a year and travels the world to reconnect with the simple pleasures in life: food in Italy, spirituality in India and sweet lovin' in Bali, hence EAT, PRAY, LOVE.

Watching it got me drawing parallels with my own expat experience in Bermuda and what I have learnt along the way.

EAT

So firstly... food. Well given Bermuda is a UK territory, there was never really going to be a culture shock when it comes to eating and drinking but there has definitely been a few surprises. For example, putting mayonnaise on everything leads to higher rates of obesity and diabetes. Who'd have thunked it?!! Particularly when it comes to mayo on a Bermuda Fish Sandwich. I made the mistake of asking for this local delicacy in a cafe during my first week on the island. I'd pictured grilled fish just hooked from the nearest bay, drizzled with a little lemon oil, vine tomatoes, rocket on freshly baked, seeded bread. Was this what I got? NOooooo. The Bermuda Fish Sandwich is unidentifiable white fish, fried in batter, smeared in mayo, maybe an iceberg lettuce leaf if you're lucky on white toast. A heart attack on a plate (and also a mighty fine hangover cure).

Then there's the traditional Bermudian codfish breakfast... salt cod, boiled potatoes, sliced bananas, avocado, stewed tinned tomatoes, a little thyme, hard boiled eggs and a some bacon. Think I'll stick to my Shreddies - they keep hunger locked up to lunchtime without the urge to projectile vom in my own lap.

Fish is a reoccurring theme you see... there's the curried fish cakes on hot cross buns at Easter, fish chowder served with dark rum and sherry peppers (just yum). I have certainly had my fish horizons broadened - common local catches include: wahoo, amberjack, tilapia, rockfish.

Can't remember if I've mentioned dark N stormies (rum and ginger beer) before??!! Well my undying love for this local delight has led me to try dark n stormy inspired dishes. Rockfish with D n S flavoured foam at Hog Penny (delish) and the D n S souffle at Fourways (devine decadence).There's a lot of rum flavoured delights to be had, the Bermuda Rum Cakes are faaaabulous.

Other traditional Bermudian food includes cassava pie (made with grated Cassava root) and mussel pie, enjoyed alongside more well-known favourites like mac n cheese, fried chicken, rice and peas. And sushi is BIG here and mighty fine. Virtually every restaurant has a sushi bar on the side.

All in all, dining in Bermuda is a fantastic, although expensive, experience. There is a lot of fine dining to be had with some of the best views ever. Mickey's on Elbow Beach and Blu overlooking the harbour are two of the best in my humble opinion.

PRAY

As I've mentioned in previous blogs, Bermuda has more churches per square mile than anywhere else in the world but my experience hasn't been a spiritual one in a religious sense. I have worshipped at the church of the glorious sun, pink sands and turquoise seas. I've been firmly reconnected with an appreciation of outstanding, no photoshop required, natural beauty and I have been spoilt forever. No beaches will ever compare... you can keep your Bondis and Copacabanas and bore off with your Bora Boras. I'd rather stay in Bermuda :-)

LOVE

And then there's love. The Bermuda Department of Tourism's slogan is "Feel the love" and you certainly do feel the love of Bermudian men, everywhere you go. The gas station, the supermarket, the street, they have a lot of love to give. So I leave you with my all time favourite tales of love/lust/like/mild interest from the island...

1. Bartender to me: "So you work in public relations, I'm the public, how about some relations?" Me: "How about no chance."

2. Old man to my friend in the Esso garage: "See that slush puppy machine there, I'd like to cover you in slush puppy". A chilling offer.

3. Bag packer to me in the supermarket: "Baby, do you need me to come home with you and help you unpack these... and maybe more?" Buy one, get one sleaze free.

4. A scene over lunch with my girlfriends. Text received by girl no.1 "Hi X, how about lunch on Saturday?" Two seconds later, text received by girl no.2 "Hi X, how about lunch on Saturday?" Yup you've guessed it, same guy. It's a small, small island, yes it really is!

5. The next JayZ to me: "You walked in and I was just about to call my mama and tell her I'd found the one. We can go shopping tomorrow and I'll buy you some Louis Vuitton." And maybe we can pick you up some decent chat while we are there.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg of a whole lotta love...

Then there's Johnny Barnes, he has a lot of love to give all on his own. He is a national treasure who stands at the same place on a roundabout (known now as the Johnny Barnes Roundabout) blowing kisses and calling "I love you... I will always love you" to the passing traffic.